Hello Diary.
I'm at that stage of my life where it feels like I just had an awakening and now I hate myself because I know I'm currently not where I should be.
And what sucks about feeling this way is the fact that I really can't do anything about it at the moment (or so I think), because the next step that I plan on taking with my life, requires me to wait a bit for certain things to get in place before I make that move. So now I'm just here, not really living but existing, waiting for that moment to come so that I can go.
And hopefully when that moment does come, I will stop feeling this way because it sucks feeling this way.
The other day, a friend had noticed the look on my face and had asked me if all was well.. And unlike me who normally would prefer keeping things to myself, I had opened up to him, telling how I felt like I was currently wasting my life by being stagnant and not really going forward.
I guess I was tired of beating myself up and just needed to open up to someone, hoping that maybe that could help relieve me of some of the pain that I am currently going through. Because I am going through it, refusing to socialise anymore with people, only coming out of my room when I absolutely have to, and just constantly giving bad vibes everywhere.
They say the first step to solving a problem is first identifying the problem. Now that I've gotten past that, I hope I can get to the next step, which is finding a solution for it because I seriously don't know how long I can handle feeling this way.
