A promise is like a debt you owe and must fulfil to retain your integrity.
I learnt that word many years ago, and that was before I actually understood the gravity of making a promise and not sticking to it. It happens. Life also happens, too. Sometimes, people make promises, only to not fulfil them, thereby disappointing those to whom they made such a promise. This is why it's better not to make a promise than to make one and not fulfil it.
I have also made promises in the past that it was later I realised I shouldn't have done so, especially when I see myself not able to get it done or due to some circumstances beyond my control.
All I just needed to do at that time was to apologise but sincerely, it breaks the other person's heart, especially when they have depended on it and trust you to fulfill them.
Humans will be humans. That's why no one is perfect, but an individual who can stick to their promises would always get that accolades, and yes, it builds trust for a long time as long as such a person keeps standing on their promises.
But today, I hate to make promises I wouldn't be able to keep. I understand that when I'm making a promise, I am ensuring the other party will get it, and for me not to disappoint them, especially at the last minute, I should definitely keep my promise and maintain my profile and personality.
Once I see that I can't commit to something, I don't need to promise you because I wouldn't want to put myself in a tight corner of blaming myself for doing that and then running around looking for ways to fulfil them, most times at the expense of my happiness and health.
The only thing I would say at that moment is, "I will try to see if..." Of course, this won't put me on a hook, particularly to some people who would stay on your neck, insisting you must do it. And yes, no one can force me to do things I wouldn't want to do unless it comes willingly.
But some time ago, I broke a promise. You see, no matter how much we try to keep to ourselves not to make promises because we don't want to make people feel sad, it still happens, maybe unconsciously?
This is more reason we must be careful when we are overly excited as we might not know when we make promises, only to discover we've said things we shouldn't say.
My sister, who came to spend more than 3 weeks with me, insisted we go out to an eatery, and I did promise her. I told her one of such days, we would go out to eat snacks and ice cream. But we never did, and she even reminded me of my promise. I knew I had failed her. I wished I could, but at that point, perhaps my reasons were valid and justifiable. I also appreciated my sister, she is the kind who understands.
The truth was, I just spent money on my sickness at the hospital and when I was fully okay, we both went to the market spending over sixty thousand naira to stock the home with food so we don't starve. I was also buying some snacks around the house for us to eat aside from the main meal, and all of these had cancelled the plan of going out to eat at an eatery. When I explained all of these to her, she grabbed immediately.
Do you know what? When I realised I had broken that promise, I made it up to her by giving her some amount to add to her pocket money back to school, and she was happy.
You see, sometimes life happens truly, which prevents us from sticking to our promises, but we can find other ways to make it up. This is not because I did so but it actually keeps the bond moving. It helps us maintain our integrity and personality.
In another sense, someone broke their promise to me, too and yes, I understand human imperfection. This is why I don't expect anything from people, especially when they promise to do something.
It's until you actually do it that I would know you meant your word, except for the kind of people you could actually vouch for to fulfil their promise, even if something goes wrong, unless death or sickness happens.
That person cheated me and I needed to get my money back. I kept chatting with him and asking for the money, which he kept promising and taking me back and forth like a small child. When I realised this was taking longer and not someone who could stand on their promise, I let it go, but I did one thing: I told God to vindicate me if truly he cheated me, and He did.
I got my money back from another person who knows him and vowed to collect it back from him. They both have deals so he was planning on getting him there. Since I got my money, I saw God's hand in it.
For the question of whether there could ever be any reason to break a promise. Yes, I would say once your intentions are clear. This is because, just like I said above, humans are imperfect and life also happens in ways we do not expect. When things like this happen, except for the case of someone dying, it's important to communicate to let the other person know.
There are definitely some valid reasons to make someone break their promises. For instance, you might promise to attend my wedding and you didn't show up. When you reach out to me explaining that you got sick or something beyond your control happened.
Sure, I should be able to understand while you also are working towards making it up in other ways. I do not say that I would be expecting this but as someone who values promises, other ways could be better to fulfil your promise like sending some money 😝 instead of not sticking to it at all. It destroys relationship.
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