Not everyone seeks validation, but everyone likes it...
I was going to write about this yesterday but some things came in the way and I had to rest. I have this 6-year-old nephew who's sort of slow with writing and reading. In a lot of educational systems, being unable to write at 6 is not entirely bad but over here, they see it as a default.
2 days ago, his teacher called his mom about getting him a 'special' teacher and she's really busy so she just accepted. The teacher complained about his inability to keep up with others and how it's hard slowing down for him.
While that might come off as a 'caring' teacher comment, I was pissed at the statement and I had a talk with my nephew. I told him he could keep up and he didn't have to listen to what his teacher had to say.
I promised to help him get better, and I will.
The next day, he came back home and I asked him about his writing. He told me he was able to keep up and his teacher wasn't mad at him. I told him I was so proud of him and I knew he could do it.
I never expected the reaction I got from him after that. It seemed like the heavens opened up and he was on top of the world. He started doing a funny dance and repeating "aunty Karina is proud of me". I cried a little bit. I really should do more.
My nephew craves validation. All kids do, because right after I told him that, his younger brother came up to me telling me what he achieved that day, and I told him I was proud of him too.
Asides from my anger at my nephew's teacher, I was a little bit angry at myself. His school issues should never have gotten to this point, especially with me being the serious education proponent in the house, I've been so busy with many other things that I've neglected this important aspect. If at this point, he needs validation to be better, then I have no other choice but to constantly validate him to work and be better. If you're the kind of person who seeks validation, rather than constantly trying to not need validation, expose yourself to an environment where you can always receive validation.
There's nothing wrong with knowing and hearing that you're an amazing person.
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